I blog, you read.

I am a HUGE snowboarder.  I have been since I started shredding at the age of 12-13.  I started off my life on the mountain as a skier (GASPS!) and did it for almost 10 years.  I was a good skier but I was alive and at the ripe age when snowboarding was making it’s giant rush for the hills.

I was at an after school ski/snowboard program in 7th grade when I first made my move to “the dark side”.  My best friend Brooks had a board and he let me try it out one night when we were up there with our school program.  He was a skier also who had turned and he didn’t mind letting me try.  I have to say that the first couple runs did suck and I was on my ass a lot but for some reason I fell in love.  I went to Rogue Ski Shop the next day and purchased a board with my hard earned money that I had saved up and from that moment on my skis stayed hung up on the wall of my garage.

I love snowboarding but I haven’t been up to the mountain since my last accident.  It was 2006 and I caught an edge wrong while landing and SNAP…I was done for the season.  I had  torn my ACL and that was going to require surgery.  I had hurt myself before but this was the worst.  This was the first time I was ever going to have to have surgery.  Here is list of what I have injured since I began snowboarding:

*Left clavicle (collar bone)
*Both ankles sprained
*Left elbow broken and dislocated
*Left ACL torn

Here is a list of what I broke when I skied:

*Nothing

Yup, nothing.   After realizing this I think I am making the switch.  Just like I did when I switched from PC to Mac.  I am gonna go BACK to skiing.  I am going to probably be heading to the mountain in March with some buddies and heading to Mt. Bachelor.  I am going to rent some skis and take back my roots and see how it goes.  With any luck it will just be like riding a bike and I am gonna pick it right up.  We shall see.

Chemotherapy. That was what we decided on as the form of treatment that I would do. We didn’t want to chance the radiation with the possibility of hurting what sperm I had left.

My treatment would be as follows:

*Blood Test
*Infusion (45 minutes)
*One week of feeling blah
*One week of feeling like shit
*One week of getting better and then
*Infusion again and repeat.

First day of treatment went fine. I showed up and did the blood tests and so forth. Then Denise and I watched a movie about “Chemotherapy and You” and it was made in Canadia. I didn’t think the acting was good. But turns out they weren’t actors. Then we had a meeting with a Infusion Nurse that spoke to us about the chemotherapy. It was an okay lecture but she was British so that made the meeting quite interesting.

Next it was time to go to the infusion room. I was in this room with all these other patients and it’s very cold in the infusion room. Why you might ask? It’s due to the fact that bacteria and germs need warmth to grow and seeing that chemo patients are at a point where they are RIPE for infection they keep the temperature down so we won’t get sick. Got it? Good.

So they inject me with an anti-nausea medicine and mix that with a steroid that is suppose to make the anti-nausea medicine last a longer time. Then it’s down to business, the chemo bag. They bring your chemo out in a IV bag and hook it up to this “robot” that makes sure to send my chemo into my bloodstream every 2-3 seconds. I just sat back and let the robot do it’s job. I didn’t feel any of the affects or anything like that right there. I chatted with my wife and mom, tried to nap a bit and then I went home. That’s when it hit me….you need sleep.

After my first infusion I came home at like 1:30 and went to sleep. I slept until about 5 or 6 that night. If this was the extent of the side affects then I think I was going to be fine. Well, I spoke to soon.

I started to have foods taste bad from the metal in my body. Nothing sucks more than wanting to bite into a Granny smith apple and having it taste like a foot, that has the texture of a bite of apple. I got tired really easily and also I started to get nauseous. I had meds for that but the nausea woke me up in the middle of the night, that sucked ball (GET IT?!). But the weirdest thing was at the tail end of the first week I started to get…well…edgy. I actually would call it anxious or nervous but it was just that my body was fidgety and was never in a comfortable position. I just never felt like where I was sitting, standing or anything was comfortable. I always had to be moving. It was like having an anxiety attack but minus the heavy breathing and so forth. That was the worst of it. Then I started to get better and then on December 22nd they blasted my body with chemo again!

I am now at the point where I am very anxious and so forth. Fun shit. But, I know that this is all for the best.

Surgery is done. Recovery from the surgery is mostly over. I am walking normal and have a nice scar to show. My wife was my personal nurse and dammit, she did a great job. Now for the fun part: treatment.

I met with the first of two Oncologists at a radiation/oncology office. Dr. Metz was nice. He came in and gave me, my wife and my mom the treatment options, numbers and all of the other information we questioned about or he had to give. We listened as he gave us all the options. He was however very focused on going the radiation route and with his numbers he gave us Denise and I thought we should go that route.

My mother however wasn’t impressed with the doctor. She thought he was a bit “unprepared”. We did ask him some questions that normal cancer patient didnt ask and he had to go find the information so my wife and I weren’t too phased by that. He did however give us information on chemotherapy but he wasn’t very detailed on it since he doesn’t give that type of treatment so we decided to go with radiation instead of chemo. Our main worry was anything that had to do with my being infertile after the radiation and chemo. Dr. Metz only knew the numbers and stats for radiation and they were so minimal that we just said we wouldn’t even deal with chemo.

The day after our appointment with Dr. Metz I got a call from the Hematology/Oncology clinic. They called to schedule an appointment with me. I had no idea that I was to meet with them but it turns out that my Urologist/Surgeon had set up the appointment so I could hear all my options for treatment. We obliged and had our appointment with the other oncologist Dr. Dibb and listened to what he had to say.Dr. Dibb was great. He was an elderly man, 50 or so and VERY schooled in the art of “the sell”. He came in and broke it down to us. He told us all about the chemotherapy and what to expect and all the side effects. He had charts, papers, research studies all printed out and ready for us to take home and read.

The thing that was different was when I asked him what he would do in my situation. See, doctors are just suppose to give options. Reason for this is all the malpractice suits and so forth. So they end up just giving options and letting the patient decide. Dr. Dibb was not that type of doctor. I sensed a “confident” attitude coming from him. It wasn’t that type of “I’m the shit, I know what I am talking about” kind of persona but that he was confident in the advice he was giving cause he had been doing it for years and probably had great results with patients that had taken his advice. He told us that the chemotherapy would be a “slam dunk” and not have any of the side affects that the radiation therapy would have.

He said we could go home and think it over and make our decision when we wanted but to also remember the sooner we made a decision the sooner I would be beating this cancer.

We left and went and had some breakfast at Black Bear. As we sat and waited for our Denver omlet and chicken strips we talked about the treatment. Well, it wasn’t really much of a talk it was me saying I am in favor of chemotherapy and Denise agreeing. That was that.

I went home later that afternoon and told the doctors office that we wanted to go with chemotherapy and they made my first appointment, December 1st. Exactly one month after I had been diagnosed with cancer.

So that brings us to today, November 30th, the day before I start my treatment. I am nervous, excited, scared and just lost. Nervous cause I don’t know what the hell to expect. Excited to get the treatment started and one step closer to being cancer free. Scared and lost mainly because of the unknowing of what is going to happen when this drug is inside me and working its magic.

I am ready. I am ready to get this started. I am ready to begin something new. I feel that I have been given a second chance at life and I am going to take that opportunity and make the most of it I can.

I will be updating about the chemotherapy. Might even take a few videos while I am getting treatment. Hell, you might even see some photos of me with no hair, if I lose it. We shall just see.

Too be continued….

The day of the surgery.

I wasn’t really that nervous. I knew what needed to be done and that was having my left nut removed. Period.

Denise and I walked into the hospital, filled out some paperwork and then they took me back to my room. They took my blood pressure and then did some blood work. The normal stuff they do before any surgery. It was warm in my room, thank God. There is nothing worse than having to be in a room, waiting for surgery and then have the room be cold.

Denise and I joked around, chatted. It was nice. We were in good spirits and knew that what I was doing was getting me on the road to beating the cancer. They put me in these WEIRD stocking kind of things but DAMN did they make my legs warm. I also got a pair of those socks that have little sticky traction treads on the bottom of them. Still have em. They are totally awesome.

Anyways, Dr. Martin came in the room and marked on my left leg with a big “X” to make sure he operated on the right side. I always find that funny that doctors and nurses have to do that but hey, don’t want them taking the wrong nut now do we? The nurse came back and said it was time. I kissed my wife and told her I loved her. I also gave my mom a hug and told her the same. They wheeled me back to the room and man operating rooms dont look like they do in the movies or on tv. But, when I got in the room I commented on the music and the nurse said that she could play something that I liked if I wanted. I told her very nicely that I doubt she would have any music that I like. She then said she had Metallica’s “Master of Puppets”. I gave her a look that made her happy and she put the CD in. I lay there on the table, with IV’s in me and started to drift off to Master of Puppets. Man, it was great.

I woke up and felt fine, minus the pain in my groin. I didn’t want to see the incision. I personally don’t like “fresh” incisions. It’s been almost three weeks and I can look at it and it’s no problem. But for some reason, I couldn’t look at it that day without getting sad. I think it was the fact that I lost my buddy that use to be on the left side of me down there. Anyways, the doctor came by, told me the surgery went great and that they sent the testicle to have pathology run on it and that he would see me on Friday for the results.

I spent about an hour in recovery and then decided it was time to take my first pee after the surgery. I have never had so many nurses walk 10 feet with me. I was able to pee and that was like the sign that I could go home. They brought in a wheelchair and took me to the front door. Denise picked me up and helped me in the car and took me home. She then told me that she had bought me “G.I. Joe” on Blu-Ray to watch and it made me so happy. Not cause I had the movie but she knew that I said something about renting it and knew that I wanted to see and she just went out and got it for me. This was the beginning of her campaign trail for the office of “Best Wife Ever”.

I got home and was still out of it. I went straight to bed after popping a few pain pills and I was out COLD.

When I woke up it was like 5 in the evening. I came and laid on the couch and we watched some Chelsea Lately. If you have never seen the show, it’s on E! every night and is flipping hilarious. While we were watching TV my friend Devin came by bringing both of us dinner. Carl’s Jr. had never tasted so good. I showed Devin my incision and then he left. I ate my food with my wife and then felt the need to go back to bed. Denise helped me back to the room and again I was out cold. I think I woke up twice that night to use the bathroom and felt awful cause every time I got up it woke her up. But, I guess it was for the best. Cause I was still learning how to get out of bed and she was there to help me out.

That’s the first day after the surgery. It just went uphill from here.

In the next entry I am going to tell you about the pathology results.

Too be continued….

The day after our trip to the ER, Denise took the day off work and was by my side for my appointment with the Urologist. Dr. Martin, a calm and quiet man. However, very smart and easy to talk to. This is something I tend to look for in a doctor. I don’t want some dude in a white coat who gives me the details and then bails. I want “Patch Adams”. Dr. Martin is no “Patch Adams” but he is still easy to talk to and there for you for anything. More about that in the next entry.

As we were filling out paperwork I was given a cup to go and pee in. Normally this would be an easy task but for some reason peeing had become a little difficult. I could do it but it would just take time to “get ready”. I grabbed my cup and headed to the bathroom. I was suppose to pee in it and then place it behind the silver door. SIMPLE. Well, I waited for the elderly man who was in front of me to finish and then went in and did my business. No problem, it was easy. I finished up and opened the door and put my cup in the box. The thing that scared me was that the man that was in front of me. His pee was still in it’s cup and was waiting to be picked up. Well, it wasn’t pee. It was nothing but about a tablespoon of bright red blood. This scared the SHIT out of me. No, I wasn’t pissing blood but was this something that was going to happen to me?

I went back out to the waiting room and sat with Denise. Then the nurse came out, called my name and ushered us back to a room. She did the whole blood pressure, temp and all that other stuff. She jotted some notes down and then said the doctor would be in. Not a minute later Dr. Martin came in the room. He shook Denise’s hand and then mine. He sat down and then just asked “Jason…so what’s going on.” I gave my story and when I had finished he asked me to stand up and drop the pants so he could “take a look” at my testicles. I don’t know why I did it but I turned to Denise and said “Is that okay?” Why did I ask? I guess because she is my teammate in this situation and wanted to make sure. She laughed, I laughed and I think Dr. Martin did a little bit.

I dropped my pants and he began to exam. Again, a man was touching my junk. This was the third dude in 24 hours that had “examined” my balls. After he did a thorough exam he asked me to pull my pants up and he would be right back to look at the Ultrasound from the hospital with us. He was gone maybe long enough for me to get my pants on and then escorted us to his office. We sat down in front of a very nice HP flatscreen monitor and on the monitor was my two balls staring right back at us.

He showed us the normal teste and how it was just so calm and it looked at peace. Then he showed us the other one. It looked…well…not so happy. He showed us the normal part of the teste and then showed us the mass on the inside that was the tumor. He explained a lot to us in those minutes but all Denise and I heard was “tumor” and “cancer”. I know doctors do this a lot but I have to say it’s probably tough for them to have to tell a young couple this type of stuff. Not that it would be tough to tell an elderly couple but to have to tell a young couple that one of them has cancer…well I bet neither one of the situations is easy. He grabbed a box of tissues for Denise and I. I didn’t really need them at the moment, I was still in the mindset of “Okay, what do we have to do to eradicate this little bitch inside of me?”

We finished our meeting with the doctor, got everything set for the next day for the surgery and all I had to do was drink this “Vanilla Smoothie” stuff for the CT scan. I will tell you this: It was the furthest thing from vanilla and a smoothie. NASTY! Anyways, during this time Denise stepped outside to call her mom and talk to her. I stayed inside and drank my smoothie and then called my mom and told her we would stop by her office after all the scans and stuff.

I was called back inside for my chest X-Ray and that went fine. I have had my fair share of X-Ray’s in my life so I am pretty much a pro at it. The X-Ray tech saw that I was drinking my “smootie” and chuckled and made the comment that I should have asked for a different flavor. I doubt that would have helped. Unless it was made by Baskin & Robbins I think it would have still tasted like chalk mixed with cardboard and a hint of strawberry.

We went to my mom’s office and hugged a bit and then talked. No real tears, my mom was holding it together nice. I think she was trying to be strong in front of Denise and I and I thank her for that. We talked for a bit and then had to head back over to the Urologist’s office for the CT scan. I dressed down into a gown and got my IV all set up. The CT-tech told me that it wasn’t going to be loud like an MRI but the weird thing was going to be what they were going to inject in me to show up on the CT. I think it was a type of iodine or something but it gives you this HUGE thing resembling a hot flash. You almost feel like you are pissing yourself but you aren’t. It was actually kinda cool but I digress.

We finished up at the Urologist’s office and then headed home. I decided to go to my work and give them the news in person rather than in an email or a phone call. I arrived at work and asked my boss for a moment of his time. He said no problem and then I asked if I could shut the door. He knew then something was serious and told me to sit and he closed the door and sat down. I tried to give the story as best as I could to him but for some reason I seem to be all over the map. But then I mentioned the surgery and the tumor and he stopped me and said:

Boss: Jason…you take all the time you need. Your job will be here for you, don’t worry about that. You take all the time you need for you and your family. And if there is ANYTHING we can do to help, you just let us know.

I knew that he would understand the situation and he did. He told me that I was in his prayers and shook my hand and said that everything was going to be okay because he knew that I was a “strong individual”. I like my boss but I didn’t think he knew that much about me. Guess I was wrong. Thanks Marcelo.

I headed back home after talking with a few co-workers and got home just in time to get some lunch with Denise. I don’t remember what we ate but I do know that we had a good talk during lunch. That afternoon was mostly spent laying on the couch and trying to manage the pain I was in. Denise and I watched the episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia called “Charlie Gets Cancer”. I think we did it to just get a laugh but to also get a laugh at the situation. If any of you have ever seen the show or the episode you will TOTALLY understand.

We went to bed that night calm and peaceful. She laid her head on my chest and I rubbed her back and we both drifted off to sleep. We weren’t worrying or letting any of the info we had learned that day ruin our day. We were with each other and that’s all we needed to make both of us feel better. Even with the pain, I haven’t slept that good in a long time.

Too be continued….