Archive for the ‘Funny As Hell!’ Category

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Don’t read this…you’ll be spoiled

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Well, I am not really going to “spoil” anything. But do any of you have those friends that do this:

Hey…don’t post anything on Twitter or Facebook about (insert show here), I am DVR’ing it and don’t want to have it ruined.

Sounds good. I won’t post anything on my Twitter or Faceb…wait a second…what?~! I can’t update my Twitter or Facebook because YOU don’t want to be spoiled and have the show ruined? Listen, I am sorry that you are not able to view at the same time as all of us. I know it must just suck. I have shows myself that I feel the same way about.

But guess what…I have a secret for you…I AM NOT GOING TO PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD CAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE YOUR SHOW RUINED FOR YOU!!

Really? I can’t update or use something that is PUBLIC DOMAIN cause you don’t want to be spoiled. Wow, let’s all just put our lives on hold until you catch up with the rest of us.

GIVE. ME. A. BREAK.

Oh and those of you that live on the West Coast and don’t want to have the people on the East Coast post on Twitter and FB cause you don’t want the show ruined…give it a break.

I have the solution to this problem. Seriously, it’s a great solution and it works BOTH for the DVR people and the West Coasters. Wanna hear it? Okay, here it is:

DON’T CHECK TWITTER AND FACEBOOK!

How about you have a little restraint and don’t let Twitter and Facebook run your lives? I say you give it a try.

Did he just tell me to NOT check Twitter and Facebook for a whole evening? Is he crazy?

Maybe I am a little crazy and SOMETIMES I may listen to the voices in my head but plan for solving this problem is SOUNDPROOF! IT WILL WORK! Try it!

Trust me!

In the end it just shows that we all depend on Facebook and Twitter if we are having to say on Facebook and Twitter about how we don’t want people to update their Facebook and Twitter cause WE don’t want to have a TV show spoiled.

Get over yourself. It’s a damn TV show.

P.S. This entry is three hours old and the people on the East Coast have already tweeted the HELL outta it.

Posted in Funny As Hell!, Life, Rants | 2 Comments »

Sleepless night

Friday, January 4th, 2008

So I can’t sleep.  This happens to us all and we all know that feeling.  I thought I was tired and then BAM nothin.  Not even like that half fall asleep where you think you can make and then you don’t.  Nope, not even that.  I just lay there in bed with Denise beside me (already about 1/2 the way to dreamland).

Things in the last week or so have been interesting.  Christmas came and went.  It was a nutty, crazy and action-packed 4 days in Bend with all of my family there.  We announced to everyone that Denise and I were now engaged and everyone gave us nothing but warm congrats, hugs and kisses.  I think the best was when my aunt just hugged Denise and stated:  I knew it.  I just knew it.

I got to meet my mom’s new boyfriend, Paul.  He ended up meeting all of us in a giant “baptism” of family cheer.  Well, it was more like laughing and yelling like we always do but I do have to tell you that we all were in fine form this holiday season.

Denise and I were total hits with my cousin Tracie’s two girls (Paige and Landree) and also found my cousin Kevin’s lil’ boy (Findley) to be one cool little man.  Nothing like having a two year old come up to you and hold out his clenched fist, waiting for you to give him “bumps”.  Also his “Peace out dude” was quite entertaining.

All in all Christmas was amazing, Denise and I are engaged and life is pretty damn okay.

The engagement was one of my delights of this last year.  I don’t think I will ever escape the story of what I said when I asked her.

Jason:  “So….”

Denise:  “So what?!”

Jason:  “Will ya?”

Yeah, I lost complete control of all my mouth and brain functions at the same time.  Perfect.

Posted in Conversations, Denise, Family, Funny As Hell! | 4 Comments »

You know him…don’t you?!

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

6:15 a.m.
While walking into the dark bedroom, Denise turns on the bathroom light. I wake up and speak.

Jason: “Peter’s grandma has powers too.”
Denise: “Who?!”
Jason: “Peter Petrelli.”
Denise: “What are you talking about?”
Jason: “From HEROES.”
Denise: “Huh?”

Jason proceeds to fall back asleep leaving his girlfriend wondering what the hell he dreams about and why Peter Petrelli was in it.

fin’

Posted in Conversations, Denise, Funny As Hell!, Random | 2 Comments »

Post, post, post.

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

The long overdue update.  Where do I start?

Well, Denise and I now live together and it’s great!  We have begun the life of a couple living together.  We have other couples over for “game night” and all that other stuff.  It’s great.  But for now I am going to marinate in the wonderful-ness of my situation and move on to a few other things.

I never told the story of what happened at my cousin’s graduation.  I have a few readers, mainly my cousin and “Bonch”, but I am gonna tell it.

The ceremony was great.  It was good to see my cousin Hugh walk up there and get his degree.  I am very proud of him and by watching him it made me realize that I really wanna finish my degree that has been on hold.

We then headed back to his place for a small “meet and greet” and just fill time before going down to a local brewery and get the REAL party started.

Keg of beer.  That is what our mission was.  We watched the OSU game in the background and ate hot wings and just plain had a blast.  One of my best friends from LONG AGO, Brooks Barnett, got in touch with me and came down with his girlfriend Ciara.  From this point on we just have tons of fun.

At 10:30 the keg was gone and it was onto the next bar.  I forgot the name of the place but it made good drinks but DAMN expensive.  I only had one of my token drinks and it cost me $14!  Normally it’s about 6 or 7 but I am not gonna complain.  We then moved onto this dance club.  It’s the club that Barb, Lucas, Devin, Darin and a grip of others went to one night.  And I will tell you that we rocked that club hard again.  Dancing, drinking and just plain old good times.

Back to Hugh’s place.  Bonch, Bonch’s boyfriend, Hugh, other girl from Colorado and I stayed up laughing and talking about the actual definition of a “Bonch”.  I have always thought that a bonch was the area between your butthole and where your private parts start, I was wrong.  It’s actually the name for a female’s part.  Go figure.

All in all it was a great time.  I made new friends and we had a damn good time.  I actually loved the part where I was eating this weird Greek food that was chicken, lettuce and some sauce in a soft sort of taco shell.  Man that shit was the bomb.

I have tons more to say but I am gonna cut it off here and head to bed.  Denise is out for the night with some girls and I think I may just head to bed.

Posted in Denise, Family, Funny As Hell! | 2 Comments »

Honest Critisism

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007

J: How did the photoshoot’s go today?

S: Not bad. But there were times when it was like pulling teeth.

J: How so?

S: You know how girls when they are young do that cutesy thing where they kick out a back leg and put their hands like this? (Proceeds to show me in the most manly way possible.) Well, this girl couldn’t seem to get it right. She was stickin’ out her ass and droppin it like it was hot and doing this whole Beyonce’ stuff. I was like ‘No, no no let’s get you to do it like this. It kinda makes you look like a whore when you are doing it that way.’ ”

J: Wow, how old was the model?

S: She was…..I think 13.

J: You called a 13 year old a whore?

S: Well she did look like a whore. I wanted her all cute looking and she goes for the “booty shakin’” look. I blame the media.

Posted in Conversations, Funny As Hell!, Random | 3 Comments »

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