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That time I had ball cancer – Part V

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

Chemotherapy. That was what we decided on as the form of treatment that I would do. We didn’t want to chance the radiation with the possibility of hurting what sperm I had left.

My treatment would be as follows:

*Blood Test
*Infusion (45 minutes)
*One week of feeling blah
*One week of feeling like shit
*One week of getting better and then
*Infusion again and repeat.

First day of treatment went fine. I showed up and did the blood tests and so forth. Then Denise and I watched a movie about “Chemotherapy and You” and it was made in Canadia. I didn’t think the acting was good. But turns out they weren’t actors. Then we had a meeting with a Infusion Nurse that spoke to us about the chemotherapy. It was an okay lecture but she was British so that made the meeting quite interesting.

Next it was time to go to the infusion room. I was in this room with all these other patients and it’s very cold in the infusion room. Why you might ask? It’s due to the fact that bacteria and germs need warmth to grow and seeing that chemo patients are at a point where they are RIPE for infection they keep the temperature down so we won’t get sick. Got it? Good.

So they inject me with an anti-nausea medicine and mix that with a steroid that is suppose to make the anti-nausea medicine last a longer time. Then it’s down to business, the chemo bag. They bring your chemo out in a IV bag and hook it up to this “robot” that makes sure to send my chemo into my bloodstream every 2-3 seconds. I just sat back and let the robot do it’s job. I didn’t feel any of the affects or anything like that right there. I chatted with my wife and mom, tried to nap a bit and then I went home. That’s when it hit me….you need sleep.

After my first infusion I came home at like 1:30 and went to sleep. I slept until about 5 or 6 that night. If this was the extent of the side affects then I think I was going to be fine. Well, I spoke to soon.

I started to have foods taste bad from the metal in my body. Nothing sucks more than wanting to bite into a Granny smith apple and having it taste like a foot, that has the texture of a bite of apple. I got tired really easily and also I started to get nauseous. I had meds for that but the nausea woke me up in the middle of the night, that sucked ball (GET IT?!). But the weirdest thing was at the tail end of the first week I started to get…well…edgy. I actually would call it anxious or nervous but it was just that my body was fidgety and was never in a comfortable position. I just never felt like where I was sitting, standing or anything was comfortable. I always had to be moving. It was like having an anxiety attack but minus the heavy breathing and so forth. That was the worst of it. Then I started to get better and then on December 22nd they blasted my body with chemo again!

I am now at the point where I am very anxious and so forth. Fun shit. But, I know that this is all for the best.

Posted in About Me, Ball Cancer, Family | 2 Comments »

That time I had ball cancer – Part I

Friday, November 6th, 2009

I am not a phenomenal writer like my wife Denise but I am going to try and use my blog as way to get some of the jumbled shit that is going on in my head out and at the same time get some awareness out there about the subject of Testicular Cancer. If you don’t like the words testicle, balls, nuts, junk or any other word used for the male genitalia you might not want to read further because this entry is going to be FULL of references to my nuts (well, nut).Sunday morning was like any other morning. Denise and I woke up after having a fun evening at a friends Halloween party. No major drinking or anything but just a good time. Oh, and the Ducks had beat USC the previous day and so I was still on the high from that. We were trying to figure out what to have for breakfast and if I remember correctly we went with Eggs and Bacon. Anyways, we had breakfast and were planning on going to see a movie that afternoon.

I started to feel a little crampy in my stomach. It felt like what Denise and I have diagnosed as “poo cramps”. You know those cramps you have when you know you have to have a HUGE bowel movement…well that’s what it felt like. She went to the store, grabbed a laxative for me and we thought nothing more of it.

Two hours later it was worse. It started to become more of an achy pain (not related to “achy breaky heart” pain) that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I took some tylenol and laid on the couch and watched some “Ace of Cakes” hoping that would help. DAMMIT, it didn’t. I then decided to take a shower to just relax and take it easy. I am one of those people that when I am in the shower I like to lay down and always have been that way. I sat down in the shower and noticed that my left testicle was hitting the floor of the shower when sitting which normally doesn’t happen. And just like Dr. Holmes I decided to investigate. Turns out that my left nut was HUGE and very hard and sensitive to the touch. This was FAR from normal.

I got out of the shower and examined myself more in the mirror noticed the size difference was something that just wasn’t right. I told my wife and we immediately went to the ER. I didn’t even have to tell her which ER to go to…she knew.We arrived at the ER and checked myself in. The lady that entered all my information into the computer reminded me of that clown from the movie “SPAWN” but minus all the makeup. She asked me “On a scale from 1 to 10, how is your pain now…with 10 being the worst”. Well, I quoted her a nice “9″ while bent over in pain. She said due to the pain I would be moved up in front of “some people” and would get seen quicker. These “people” that I was being put in front of were the people being OVER dramatic about the swine flu. I am talking the ones that throw anti-bacterial gel on door handles while wearing a mask around the ER. Yeah, so I got pushed in front of “those” people.

We waited our turn, just chatting and talking and trying to keep my mind off the pain. I am gonna say this up front so EVERYONE reading this knows: My wife, Denise Steele, is the best wife in the world. In the last week she has been my nurse, pharmacist, shoulder to cry on, confidant and she has been there for to do ANYTHING I needed. She is a trooper and I am forever grateful to her for her support, compassion and love that she has shown me during this time. I don’t know what I would do without her. Denise, you are my rock. I love you very much.

Okay, so we waited and waited. There were two trauma’s that came to the hospital and those take priority. Well, 2 1/2 hours later my name was called and Denise jumped up and exclaimed “RIGHT HERE!” and began to wheel me back to the room. We probably waited for only 5 minutes and then the doctor came in. Dr. Juarez came in and asked the typical questions and then asked to see my balls. At first I was nervous but figured I gotta let him see them so he can find out what’s wrong. He squeezed, poked and gently felt my balls. Yes, both of them. You gotta have a “control group”.

After that he said they were going to do an Ultrasound to see what exactly was going on. They wheeled me to the Ultrasound room and man was it warm in there. it was also very calm and just a nice room to have you nuts hanging out and have some gel put on them and have them photographed. The Ultrasound tech did her thing and showed us some photos of what she had taken but was in no way making a diagnosis. But she did say that my left nut was “3 times the size” of the right one. That to me didn’t sound good. But as the doctor had told us the testicle could have gotten an infection or gotten twisted, cutting of the circulation to the testicle and causing the pain. So we were hopeful it was something like that.

They wheeled me back to my ER room and about 3 minutes later Dr. Juarez came back. He sat down and said that he had scheduled an appointment with a Urologist the next morning and he would discuss with me further treatment options after surgery and that chemo and radiation might be something I would have to consider.

Uh huh….WAIT. WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY? I am sorry, did I hear the word “surgery”? Yes, we did hear the word surgery and all those other scary words.

He gave me some pain meds for the night to get me through till the next day and all my information on my appointment and some other pamphlets/photo copies of some info on Testicular Cancer.

We checked out of the hospital and as we were walking to the car I called my mom. I love my mom to death but she is someone that likes to worry. It’s just who she is. We decided not to call her when we got to the ER until we knew something more. Well, we did know something more and figured it was time to give her a ring.

That is a phone call that I wish I never had to have made. This is pretty much how the conversation went:

Mom: Hi Jason
Jason: Hi mom.
Mom: What’s wrong?
Jason: Well, we just left the ER…
Mom: WHAT’S WRONG? (not yelling but very stern)

I then told her the story and she immediately began to weep. I told her that we don’t know anything beyond what we know now so there is no reason to worry and we have to be strong. She promised me she would and after a few more minutes we said goodbye and that we would talk the next day. However, the way my mom said “I love you” that night on the phone brought me to tears. It is not a phone call that I wish anyone ever has to make.

My wife and I had found out so much information in the last 5 hours that we were just overwhelmed and decided to go home and watch the most recent episode of “Chelsea Lately” and get a good laugh before bed.

We laid down that night not knowing what to expect the next morning but told each other that I was going to be fine and that hopefully the doctor would have some good news. We just didn’t know.

To be continued…

Posted in Ball Cancer, Denise, Family | 8 Comments »

Sleepless night

Friday, January 4th, 2008

So I can’t sleep.  This happens to us all and we all know that feeling.  I thought I was tired and then BAM nothin.  Not even like that half fall asleep where you think you can make and then you don’t.  Nope, not even that.  I just lay there in bed with Denise beside me (already about 1/2 the way to dreamland).

Things in the last week or so have been interesting.  Christmas came and went.  It was a nutty, crazy and action-packed 4 days in Bend with all of my family there.  We announced to everyone that Denise and I were now engaged and everyone gave us nothing but warm congrats, hugs and kisses.  I think the best was when my aunt just hugged Denise and stated:  I knew it.  I just knew it.

I got to meet my mom’s new boyfriend, Paul.  He ended up meeting all of us in a giant “baptism” of family cheer.  Well, it was more like laughing and yelling like we always do but I do have to tell you that we all were in fine form this holiday season.

Denise and I were total hits with my cousin Tracie’s two girls (Paige and Landree) and also found my cousin Kevin’s lil’ boy (Findley) to be one cool little man.  Nothing like having a two year old come up to you and hold out his clenched fist, waiting for you to give him “bumps”.  Also his “Peace out dude” was quite entertaining.

All in all Christmas was amazing, Denise and I are engaged and life is pretty damn okay.

The engagement was one of my delights of this last year.  I don’t think I will ever escape the story of what I said when I asked her.

Jason:  “So….”

Denise:  “So what?!”

Jason:  “Will ya?”

Yeah, I lost complete control of all my mouth and brain functions at the same time.  Perfect.

Posted in Conversations, Denise, Family, Funny As Hell! | 4 Comments »

Overdue

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

It’s one in the morning and I can’t sleep. I am feeling a slight sickness coming on or maybe it’s my allergies. But I can tell you that I am not able to sleep and my constant tossin’ and turnin’ is not helping the wonderful angel I share a bed with.

Not to sure exactly why I can’t sleep. It could be a plethora of reasons. You know the whole “my mind is racing and I can’t sleep” story. Well, that is pretty much the case. Don’t need to bring Holmes and Watson in on this one.

Denise’s parents were recently here in town while on their trip up the West Coast. They were on a 3 week vacation and stopped in from Friday till Monday. It was a great time. They were on a trip for the two of them and could have gone anywhere but they decided on the West Coast. I think this is due to a few reasons:

1. They hadn’t been out on the West Coast since Mr. Neal graduated from school.
2. They wanted to see San Francisco, Canada and Oregon.
3. Their daughter lives out here now.
4. They wanted to see said daughter’s living situation.

I believe that out of all of these great reasons to come here, #4 was the one that they wanted to make sure of.  They wanted to see the apartment they Denise and I live in.  They wanted to see the Rogue Valley.  They wanted to see the safe mountains that surround us.

With all these questions they had about me and where we were living I found out the last night that they were in town that they were pleased with what they had observed.

Mrs. Neal and I were on the front porch when Mr. Neal, Denise, Jay and Megan were inside chatting.  She and I were taking in some fresh air (while she was saying hello to “nick”) and we talked about what they had see.  She assured me that everything they had seen was going to help them sleep better at night.

I really like Mr. and Mrs. Neal.  They are a wonderful and dynamic couple.  It’s just nice to know that they feel safe knowing that their daughter is here with me.  And how could they not?  I mean seriously, have you met Denise?  She is phenomenal.  Just having her here provides me with entertainment and companionship.  She is loving and also a good friend when needed.  Having her here just brings everything to a nice balance.

P.S.  Mr. and Mrs. Neal also purchased a new couch for us and an Oregon Ducks welcome mat.  Now we can watch episodes of our favorite shows from a nice new sofa and not the $9 dollar couch that was purchased from the local Goodwill.  I am gonna miss that couch when it’s gone.  It was good for us and our starting of a new relationship and our new living situation.

Posted in Denise, Family, Random | No Comments »

You want Shitty Chicken?

Thursday, September 6th, 2007

With all the choices in the world of what to have for dinner, Denise and I chose to have Safeway chinese food. Well, she chose and I made the simple response of “Hell yeah!” It was that easy. Do we wanna have Kraft Cheese and Mac again? Garlic and herb shells? Or how about having that chicken with the peanut sauce that I make? No, we are going to have sketchy, MSG loaded chicken from Safeway. These are the things I love about the Pacific Northwest.

It’s small things like this that make me happy for my situation. Situation being that I live with my girlfriend. She leaves me little notes from the night before that I will read when I am leaving early in the morning. Yes, they may say something like:

Have a super fantastic day.  I love you.

Yes, things are that lovely with us.  It’s nice to know someone cares.  I really know she cares when she leaves me something like the note mentioned or something else like this little ditty she left me:

You are a vagina face.

Real love.

Tomorrow is a big day.  Denise’s parents come to town for the weekend and we get to do all the tourist shit that there is to do in this lovely state of Oregon.   I am also excited that my mother is going to be joining all of us for a nice dinner together.  Nothing like have the parents of someone you are living in sin with meeting for the first time.  Ah, memories.

SOU and I also have a meeting tomorrow to figure out all the Financial Aid bullsh*t that comes with going back to school.  I am really REALLY looking forward to continuing and finishing my education that I started a DECADE ago.  Damn.

Posted in Denise, Family | 2 Comments »

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