So I randomly found this video on Big-Boys today and could not believe it. Think of two things when you watch this video. They are:
1. Isn’t she killing one of GOD’s creatures?
2. Also, is the mantis “Praying” or is it “Preying”?
Archive for October, 2005
Hey remember that time we were talking about Irony ?!
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005Fox aint got nothin’ on me!
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
Jason: “I think Prison Break is one the breakout shows of the season.”
Scotty: “I think you’re one of the breakout shows of the season.”
Jason: “Really?”
Scotty: “Yeah. I tune in every week.”
The Blunder Years: Part II
Friday, October 21st, 2005
8th Grade: Revenge of the Band Nerd
The time when we are all suppose to be finding ourselves and finding out who we are and getting ready for High School, I ended up finding myself defending my lifehood against bullies, NO FEAR clothing and acne. Side note: I did have No Fear t-shirts, I am able to admit that. I am going to counseling and my therapist says I am making good progress with what he calls my addiction to “labeled wear”.
So it was a nice sunny day and Garrett Shroeder, Greg Thorson, Scott Weldon, Brooks Barnett and I were playing 2 on 3 touch football at lunch. The way you play this is you have a rotating QB and he plays on both teams. It was an intersting way to pass the time at lunch and we didn’t play touch. Many times we got yelled at by the “Lunch Ladies”. Whatever, we knew what we were doing.
So we are playing football. Everything is going smooth and lunch was almost over or so I thought. Carl Enloe, another 8th grader who I guess didn’t like me, is out on the field watching us with some of his friends, needless to say I don’t think they liked me either. Now here is the interesting part: Why didn’t they like me? let’s break this down into a nice list.
1. I wasn’t in the cool crowd
2. I played in the band
3. I didn’t play on any sports teams
4. They didn’t like the fact that I was trying to fit in, i.e. No Fear shirts (just speculation, but I think I am right.)
5. Did I mention I played in the band?
So they are watching from the side of the field and mocking and yelling things at me and shit. I paid no attention to it and didn’t give a fuck. Why would I waste my time in trying to think of a comeback, this was LUNCH FOOTBALL PEOPLE! I gotta concentrate on this shit and not be distracted by a total douche bag and lose the game! (I say that now but this dude was a total D.B. in training)
The game continues on and lunch is starting to wind down. Carl then gets the great idea to run on the field and do one of the worst things you can do to a kid in Junior High . . . . he marks on my legs with a black Sharpie! OH. MY. GOD. So I retaliate after the first time and give him a warning.
Jason: “STOP it ASSHOLE!”
Carl: “Make me!”
He comes out for a second wave as if he was attacking Pearl Harbor like a Japanese Kamikaze pilot.
Jason: “If you do that again I am not going to be responsible for what happens”
Carl: “Whatever. Look, I’m soooo scared” (while making a shaking motion with hands)
I try to keep my composure as I am slowly starting to boil but I can feel the hatred that is starting to build. It was a hatred for someone that was so bad that I swear if there had been a baby seal around, I would have clubbed the shit out of it!
As I am waiting for the kick-off to come my way I see Carl run out on the field behind me, luckily he was in my peripheral vision. I catch the ball and at that exact moment I feel him write on my leg . . . that was it. I had had enough.
I turned around and threw the football at his head. He was at that moment every person that had said something rude to me, made fun of me or done any wrongs to me. Everytime that I had been wronged by a bully came out at that exact moment against him. I turned around with all this force and threw a right hook across his face. With one punch he went to the ground and I presumed to sit on him and keep swinging away. I got about four good hits in before my friends got me off of him and then I was taken away by infamous “Lunch Lady”.
I was taken to the Dean’s Office and waited to find out my sentance. What was it? Detention, suspension or the worst . . . Expulsion?! Rocky Miner (it was my friend Kristen’s dad) brought me into his office. He asked me to explain the situation to him, in detail. I told him that I did nothing to start the fight I was simply defending myself. He did it a couple of times and I told him what would happen. I FUCKING WARNED HIM! His reply to me was simple and straight to the point:
Rocky: “I believe you. Carl has always been a problem-starter. Don’t worry, nothing is going to happen. Carl is outside and waiting to come in. Don’t you have a jazz concert to be at? Well, give this note to Mr. Thickett and send in Carl when you leave. If anything else happens you come and see me right away, got it?”
I understood. I took the note he gave me and headed out the door. As I walked passed Carl sitting and waiting to find out his punishment, I just looked at him and said “He wants to see you.” As I left I had to do one last look over my shoulder to get the last word in. As I turned around to look he was looking at me too and all I gave him was that smile of “You’re Fucked, DUDE!” and gave a little laugh. I won’t ever forget that day.
Score:
Jason: 1
Carl and 8th Grade: 0
**Note: The names have not been changed or blacked out. I dare Carl to find me now!**
The Blunder Years: Part I
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
7th Grade: The Song That Jason Likes
So many of you (all three that read this site) know me pretty well but I figured it’s time to give a little background on me. I wasn’t always this totally cool dude that you all know. I know, I know you are saying to yourself ‘Say it isn’t true Jason?!’ Wish I could but it’s true. I cannot tell a lie.
Let’s take a look back at my years and just do a bit of reminissing. Some of the names have been sort of blocked to somewhat protect the innocent . . . but whatever. You can still see the damn names.
I was just the normal kid durning Junior High. Now, if you consider normal to mean that you have your few select friends, constantly worried that the 8th Graders are gonna stuff you in a garbage can due to the fact that you are a “band nerd” and you are madly attracted to a girl (Lori Earl) and can’t ask her out cause she is in the “cool crowd” and you just go through the days waiting for the next break from school to escape to Portland to hang out with your cousin cause his friends don’t know you that well and like to have you hang with them and your cousin, then I was totally normal.
The years at Hedrick Junior High were just okay, it was a day to day battle. Everyone complains about being picked on but one of the best moments of my time there was when I got to dance with the previously mentioned girl at the “Winter Dance”. I remember that day vividly.
I was at the dance with close friends and as they slowly left the bleachers of the gym to dance with girls (while maintaing the “6 Bible Distance”) I sat and watched. As the dance wore down I decided to get ready to leave. As I was collecting my pride and walking towards the doors of the gym a hand grabs me and turns me around. It was Lori Earl asking me to dance with her in the “Snowball Dance”. We all know how this goes: Two people start then they find someone, then those four find someone and so on. So she and I are dancing and I can’t help but take my eyes off of her shoulder length curly hair and her beautiful blue eyes. Then as quickly as it began we separated to go find more partners. I stood there stunned, shocked and ______. (insert adjective here) I was just in another world and didn’t care about anything else. I had just danced with the girl I had a crush on. I could die a happy virgin 7th grader now. I went home that night with the biggest smile on my face. I even remember the first music video I watched on MTV after I got home while laying under a blanket on the couch: “Plush” by Stone Temple Pilots. Everytime I hear that song or see that video that memory of that night in December right before Christmas break goes running through my head.
I then got up the balls to ask her out the next week . . . . my heart was crushed. Her reply was that she didn’t know me well enough. I wasn’t asking you to fucking MARRY ME?! CAN WE JUST HANG OUT!? Worst thing about the whole story is that at the end of the week I found out that my friend Garrett Shroeder was now dating her ! ! ! ! Life in Junior High was officially dead to me.
Bring on the garbage can, I will put myself in there.
Next Entry: 8th Grade: Revenge of the Band Nerd
Channel 1, Homeroom Class and “Slurpee” stained shirts!
Friday, October 14th, 2005I don’t usually talk about my childhood high school years but last night’s dream brought back many old memories from my high school years.
I think my new daily routine of going running at my old high school is what brought out all these old memories of my days at North Medford High School, home of the Black Tornadoes! Side note: There is no other high school in the nation that are known as the “Black Tornadoes”, check it!
Anyways so I go running at the track and decided to take a nice walk down the old halls of the school, most of the halls are outside like a normal college campus so that was something cool about the school. Oh and our principal, “The Don”, had a curly mullet. You can’t make this shit up.
Back to the dream. So it’s my 10 year reunion and I am just walking around the halls of my old campus. I am there with all my friends and it’s just hilarious. Jenny Jones, Garrett Schroeder, Brooks Barnett and many many others are there but I can’t name em all. So we are just walking around aimlessly and just shootin’ the shit. All of a sudden our school is under attack like in that Swayze movie “Red Dawn”. So we all end up being fully-operational killing machines. Ready to kill and thirsty for blood. But it’s just a constant running around and trying to evade the other invading forces. I mean how dare they interrupt my 10th year REUNION!!! BASTARDS!!! The cat and mouse game continues and durning this I end up running into some other friends (Holli, Shannon and The Boys) and we all join forces to take on this Communist threat. AHHHHHHHHH!
So the dream ends with all of us running through the gym and spraying gunfire behind us at the enemy and busting out the back door of the gym and then I woke up. BAM it was over.
Not sure why I had this dream but there were some people in it that I haven’t seen in a long time and can’t wait to hang out with (YEAH YOU!) and I think I should try and get ahold of some of them.
I wish I would have been able to capture “The Don” and hold him and his mullet prisoner in my dream. Maybe that is part two of the dream. “Mad J.O. – Beyond Thunderdome”