I blog, you read.

With my past and all that has happened to me while doing this wonderful sport (be it good or bad) I can’t help but dwell on the past. I know, I know we aren’t suppose to do that . . . SUE ME . . I am only human. I just think about the years when I was starting to come out of my shell and get the nutz to compete and then actually did and WON some competitions. But then, the collar bone was broken, right in two. End of Season.

Recover time is always interesting. You think about that jump and what you did wrong and if only you had slowed down, turned a bit more, rotated enough in the air . . . but I digress. It’s a time when you get to do the finer things:
1. Sit and catch up on T.V. cause you can’t go on ANY Spring Break trips
2. Learn the art of Knitting and make a beanie for next season
3. Get your board waxed up and ready to go and take the moutain by storm the next season.

I am right in that phase. It’s almost like being an alcholic when you are down from an injury. Only, minus the drinking, losing your family and friends and money but hey it’s close.

With the days still short, and sunset happening sooner and sunrise happening later, my body is deciding to play tricks on me. With all that darkness it should be easier to sleep, right?! According to my body and mind: HELL NO ! ! !

Lately I have plagued with dreams that range from interesting all the way to COMPLETLY FUCKED UP ! ! The latter of the two has been the brunt of most of these dreams and that’s causing me to not get my beauty sleep and God knows I need it.
Here is the latest one that I had last night. It is mostly just weird but I am still trying to decipher it. I will just tell it, you will get the point. Enjoy!

It starts of with me and somone in a giant Mall / Train Station looking place. There are shops but there are people everywhere going on with their lives. The are going to and from and just going through the motions of daily life.

The person (I refer to her as person because I have no fucking clue who they were) I am with are just watching this all go on and then all of a sudden we realize we are late for our subway and have to get there.

We begin running to the stop where we are suppose to get on the train and while we are running I get held up in the traffic of all the people. I am about 50 feet from the train when I look up and she is standing in the door waiting for me. I push and shove to get to the train but I don’t make it. The doors close on me and she just has this smile on her face. Not a “Ha ha ha” face but one of those reasuring faces when something bad happens. A face that makes you think even though something bad has happened it will be okay. Maybe not the way you expected it but it will be okay.

As I watch the train pull away a man in a t-shirt and jeans with wings (I am thinking this is definetly a reference to a Dane Cook bit that I love but it also could have been a sign of some sort, still trying to figure that one out). Well, the man with jeans and wings looks at me and gives me the same smile. He points down the long hallway of shops and people and says “If you hurry you can make the next stop.” I thank him and start running.

While I am running I am able to see her in the train just staring at me. She is watching me run with that face and then the train takes off ahead of me. I am pushing people aside and jumping over benches and other items in my way.

I then see the stop that I am running to and she is standing there again with the door open waiting for me. Again I am about 50 feet away and it starts to close and then as soon as I get to the train the door shuts on me and starts to take off. She is still smiling.

As I watch the train take off the Angel wearing jeans shows up again. He puts a hand on my shoulder and says “It’s okay.” With those words I am completely content and okay and look at him and thank him. Then I woke up.